Not to Miss

Guardianistas have already seen this, but in case you don't check the site daily, the Guardian have a blog post with their picks for the Top 5 TV opens.

There's one American pick: Hawaii 5-0 (which is hard to beat).

But it's very interesting for someone standing on the sidelines (someone like me) to learn about Dee Time, etc.

Bend It Like Pasta

Becks just started a two-month loan from the Galaxy to AC Milan.

Of course, that team is kind of like the Yankees of Europe, and I can see why the world's most famous footballer wants a crack at it, but it does seem weird. First Real Madrid and then this? Plus, I'm sure he's going to play for England in the FA Cup.

I mean what team is Posh's husband on?

Yo' -- It's Hannukka Time -- Booyashaka

Erran Baron Cohen (who's the brother of the super-famous-actor Baron Cohen and the cousin of the fairly-famous-professor Baron Cohen) is a pretty fantastic musician in his own right. His band, Zohar, is amazing.

This season, he presents Songs in the Key of Hannukka. And you have to hear it to believe how hip it is. Also, listen to his interview of Fresh Air from today.

I Think I'm in Love

It's not tough to guess, but yes, I'm a Zadie Smith fan.

Now in the New Yorker, I learn that she loves all the same comedy that I do? She understands the Kabbalah, can write in almost any dialect ... and now I'm meant to believe that she's got a proper sense of humour?

Maybe there are three of her churning out work under the same name.

Here she is on the New Yorker's podcast, talking about why the Parrot Sketch and the scene where Basil Fawlty beats up his car are so funny.

The Subjects to the North

You, know when you look at the money in Canada and see the Queen, it seems like a quaint vestige ... but it turns out QEII of the UK is really is the head of the governments up there!

In fact, she just (through her governor general) closed down parliament to give the PM time to get his ducks in a row. Seems the Quebec bloc, Liberals and some other parties had enough votes to oust the Conservatives, who have been running the place for quite a while now.

Isn't that how parliamentary democracy is supposed to work?

Ah well, even though I've written in this space about my jealousy of not being included in the Commonwealth so we can play cricket, non-membership has some privileges. But to put it more bluntly even England has an advantage that Canada does not:

The Queen never interferes with the government there!!

It Had to Happen

He was the only one of us who could pull off the 80s look during the 1980s ... He had a Jam striped shirt, bought on a trip to London circa 1983 ... He has been a fixture of New York and L.A. nightlife for years.

Now my best friend is into golf.

At least he has a penchant for *real* links, in the Scottish style. No cushy Florida country clubs for him. I believe he's even going to make a pilgrimage to the so-called "home of golf," St. Andrews. But if he wants to see the British Open there, he'll have to wait until 2010 -- just a year and a half. They only there on the 5's and 0's (1990, 1995, 2000, 2005, etc.) Other times, it could be anywhere in the United Kingdom.

I never got golf (Tiger Woods always seems to win at St. Andrews), but I may just join him on that trip. July in Scotland? I may just get to take the train up from London, which I've been wanting to do since I did a piece for National Geographic on those amazing brick viaducts they have on that line.

Thank you to Paul Birrell for the snap of the 18th hole at S.A.

The Vicar of Hymie Town

Apparently buses and cabs are festooned with big-nosed Jews this season. It's the ethnically sensitive logo of the revival of Oliver!

Oliver! is opening on the West End -- starring one of my favs, Rowan Atkinson. Well done with the casting.

But ... as pointed out in the Sounds Jewish podcast, quite odd that a man who made his name playing vicars (famously, this hilarious turn on Four Weddings and Funeral) is playing Dickenson's most-remembered Yid.

There's a What?!!

Okay, this is too good to be true. Phonybrit readers already know I'm obsessed by that crazy island nation and super-obsessed by the point where British culture and Jewish culture meet (look at the archives ... you'll see).

I've just learned that there's a podcast run by the Jewish Community Centre for London and the Guardian called Sounds Jewish. This is dangerous.

This month, one of the guests was a school chum of one of my dearest friends when they both were at Oxford. This is the guy who first taught me Cockney rhyming slang. I can still remember it, we were walking from the National, after seeing a show, with the Thames so close you could smell it (this was the late 80s). To tell you the truth, at first I thought he was winding me up -- and then my eyes glazed over as if he were explaining quantum physics.

Monty Python's Flying Time Machine

You gotta see this. (This link will lead you to an iTunes clip that you can download for free. It's perfectly safe, if not entirely intuitive.)

One of the podcasts I subscribe to somehow unearthed (with the help of a PBS engineer in Dallas) a 1975 pledge-drive interview with four of those merry band of idiots, the Pythons: Michael Palin (he's the one above with the armadillo on his lap, if you must know), Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, and Graham Chapman. In the interview they're talking about how they just finished a film called Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Of course, this is exactly when that show was blowing my own mind in the suburbs of Jersey. The fashion in the clip is almost as wonderful as seeing Pythons be Pythons among Dallas's best and brightest.

Kudos to Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart, for finding this and getting it out there. Subscribe to his show, The Sound of Young America.

Man City vs. Man U

It was the Mets vs the Yankees of the UK ...

The underdogs lost again. Manchester United prevailed 1 nil. Even with lots of yellow cards handed out.

In Praise of British Music Shows

It's PBS pledge time again. Last time, we saw rare a rare Who concert.

This time, it's Billy Joel on the Old Grey Whistle Test circa 1978. I haven't thought of the OGWT since my good friends did a film about Lynyrd Skynard ages ago. They found amazing early footage of the band from that show; OGWT was famous for having the rarest early footage of some of the greatest bands in pop history.

With Top of the Pops in the news lately and my eternal admiration of Later with Jools Holland, it seems that the UK has the advantage when it comes to classic (not classical) music shows. I hear The Tube, which ran in the 80s was pretty amazing as well.

I guess we had Don Kirshner's Rock Concert stateside. But aside from that, we had to wait for some of our heroes to lip sync on the Merv Douglas Show.

Maybe that's why my head exploded when I saw Elvis Costello on Saturday Night Live ... In the UK, they actually had a tradition of showing bands in a natural setting and they'd do things like Elvis: start a song, then stop, then trash the drum kit.

Gorgeous stuff.

Manuel's Granddaughter Speaks

Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross are still off the air due to that rediculous kerfuffle over Ross saying a nasty word on Andrew Sach's answerphone -- a nasty word for what Brand and Sach's granddaughter, Georgina, did together.

Now, we get a chance to see the real Georgina ....

Top of the Pops

The show that invented the music video back in the 1960s -- giving rise to MTV and the phenomenon of creating little films to go with each single on an album -- was given the axe after decades on the air a couple of years ago. But the Christmas special remained, in which the best-selling singles of the year were shown in one go. Then even that was sacked.

It's good to hear the BBC have reversed their decision and the show is back on.

Some wonder whether Simon Cowell's offer to buy the show from the Beeb and put it on ITV had anything to do with it.

The Bank Job

The last several days, I've been full-tilt into a new project ... a British topic, in point of fact ... No, not the one from which I was hoping to be paid in pounds sterling. But it just got killed (it happens to us writers from time to time as producers and publisher's plans change) so I can talk about it just a little.

Don't want to say too much about it, but suffice it to say that it forced me to finally rent The Bank Job. If you missed it too, you've got to see it -- it's a cracker. It's based on 1971's "walkie talkie robbery" in which a bunch of Eastenders tunneled underneath a Lloyd's safe deposit vault and made away with millions of pounds. The case was busted because a radio ham tuned into their two-way communications and alerted the constables and Scotland Yard.

It stars Lock, Stock and Barrel's Jason Stratham.

Good fun.

Thank you to Maura Ortega for the snap.

We Wish You All Happiness

It's finally happening. The creator of Lord Foppington (or the other way round) and the lovely Lady Monica are getting married this weekend.

We truly wish you the best.

The Once and Future King -- Well, the Future King

Charles, the Prince of Wales, turns 60 today. I'm not much of a royalist, but it seems worth mentioning.

Many happy returns of the day.

Nextbook is Back in the UK

I know it seems like I'm addicted to Nextbook.org, but in case you don't subscribe, you have to hear Hugh Levinson's latest dispatch from London. This time, it's a very thought provoking tour of London's shuls.

Joanna Lumley is Absolutely Fabulous

Blimey.

It turns out that Joanna Lumley has done more than AbFab and The New Avengers. Loads more. Check out this piece from the Guardian, where they hail the career of this 62-year-old bombshell (oh, behave!) Seriously, she looks great and good on her!

And to add to the list of TV shows, the Guardian don't even mention film triumphs like her two Pink Panther films.

Mod. Gear. Fab.

Absolutely Fabulous.

I Don't Agree With This

Hey, I think she's great ... but this was too funny not to share.

Remembrance Day

Remembrance Day (as it is called in the Commonwealth -- observed on a Sunday) had me more moved that usual. Tuesday is Veterans Day here in the US. Both commemorate November 11, 90 years ago, when the madness briefly came to an end.

Below, please find a link one of the best pieces of art on the topic, Blackadder Goes Forth. Actually, you can find probably the best bit of that show, the best four or five minutes in comedy history here. But I didn't want to make it too easy for those who haven't seen the whole series to watch this by accident. (I reckon the spoiler alert still applies even when your talking about a comedy in which the main character is reincarnated into a new person each season, innit?)

So put a poppy on your lapel and enjoy the best opening credits in comedy history -- how they explained the entire dynamic of the show with only the words "Eyes Right!" is a thing of beauty.

The Times Aren't A-Changin'

Things have been pretty stagnant the last several days.

Ross and Brand are still in trouble, and heads are rolling at the BBC just because Ross said a naughty word to Andrew Sach's (pictured left) answerphone.

Chelsea are back on top of the football tables, as it has been most of the time for the past couple of years.

And the UK are trying to cope with America's winning the Black-leader sweepstakes. Including a furor over a BBC presenter asking rapper Dizee Rascal if he "feels British."
Thank you to:

phil chappell from Crowthorne, U.K. for the snap.

A Parliament That Looks Like Britain

Interesting column in the Guardian entitled "When Will We See a British Obama?"

As noted before, things are so different there ... after all, if your Asian or Jewish or Black, you're not ethnically "English" or "Scottish" or "Welch." But the face of Britain is getting more and more brown.

According to the piece, it will take 75 years to get a completely representative Parliament. But with their lead in the female- and Jewish-leader races, maybe it isn't so long until there is a PM with African or Asian roots.

Never Give Up, Never Give In

Soldiers used to carry letters around letter labeled "in the event of my death."

Winston Churchill's letter to Clementine from WWI has been discovered and is currently on display at the Cabinet War Rooms (which I have visited -- very cool).

Talk about stiff-upper lip:
"Do not grieve for me too much ... Death is only an incident, and not the most important that happens to us in this state of being. On the whole, especially since I met you, my darling one, I have been happy and you have taught me how noble a woman's heart can be.

If there is anything else I shall be on the look out for you. Meanwhile look forward, feel free, rejoice in life, cherish the children, guard my memory. God bless you, goodbye, W."

The Day After

Takeaway and Telly

Sigh.

So much going on, I haven't yet linked to this interesting article from last week's Newsweek, in which we learn that 5 pubs a day are closing in Britain.

It's a bad combination of the credit crunch, a rise in taxes designed to reduce drinking in the UK, more caution about drunk driving (a good thing, that), and a general societal shift where people are more likely to get their entertainment at home rather than meeting at the pub sharing stories and singing songs ... and occasionally beating the s**t out of some wanker.

Oh, those were good old days.

Photo by ╚JMC╝ -- check out his work on Flickr.

I Don't Bloody Believe This

Okay. Been following what is now called "Sachsgate" for a few postings now.

The latest? Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross have both been suspended from the BBC. (Read below, but basically Ross dropped the "F bomb" during a prank call to the beloved comedy actor Andrew Sachs whilst recording Brand's Radio 2 show.)

Could they get sacked over Sachsgate? I don't think so. But apparently over 10,000 license-fee-payers complained as of yesterday.

The whole thing is absurd, but it would be lots less if I didn't keep picturing Manuel bashing around Fawlty Towers every time I read about this kerfuffle.

In a COMPLETELY unrelated thought, I wonder how sales of Ross's new book, "Why Do I Say These Things?" are doing. That's a "convenient" title for all this publicity he's getting. And I wonder how old Russ's burgeoning film career will be affected if he is released from his BBC obligations? Hmmmm.

Fawlty Judgement

Funny that I mentioned Jonathan Ross's appearance (is that the right word for radio?) on Russell Brand's Radio 2 program.

Turns out that a prank that they pulled during their time together has caused a huge uproar.

In short, they left messages on the answerphone of national-treasure Andrew Sachs. Sachs played Manuel on Fawlty Towers. As I discovered when I watched that Men of British Comedy special a few years ago, he is not a crazy Spaniard, but a very nice English/Jewish actor.

The two wound him up by implying (well, more than implying) that Brand had shagged his granddaughter. Apparently, the BBC was flooded with calls.

I guess this is one of the differences between our two countries. Of course, we're very puritanical here, but over there, no matter how out-there they can get sometimes, one always has to remember that the BBC have to answer to the fee payers (meaning everyone).

All involved have apologized. When reached, Sachs said, "Que"? (Just kidding ... he said that it his granddaughter who deserves the apology.)

Thank you to http://www.8ball.co.uk for the image. Visit their site and buy the shirt.

World's Collide

These podcasts from BBC radio are my lifeline.

But recently, BBC have been making me out of me head. Within the last few weeks, Russel Brand was on Jonathan Ross. Ross returned the favor. Last week, both Russ and Ross were on the Chris Moyles show!

I'll really start worrying when the three of them show up as the panel on In Our Time or Start the Week on Radio 4, which both usually have professors and authors and the like.

More Sex Please, We're British

Sex education is now compulsory for all schoolchildren in the UK now -- even in religious school. Discussing contraception and homosexuality is part of the curriculum.

I wish I lived in a country that wasn't so puritanical.

The Right Honourable Jew

There's a great interview on Nextbook.org with the author of a new book about Benjamin Disraeli, the mid-19th century novelist and Prime Minister. He was a fascinating character and the author has done a fascinating study of how far someone can go with some brains, some chutzpah ... and the willingness to kiss Queen Victoria's arse.

English Teeth

I'm all for Ricky Gervais's teeth. Ricky, you've been successful being Ricky and not some bloke with Hollywood "work" done. Good on ya.

I haven't seen Ghost Town yet, as all I do is work on my current project and deliver my daughter to her many activities. But now that it's opening back home, even *they* are wondering. Out of all the professions you could have chosen for that film ... A dentist? I know my dentist has straighter, whiter teeth than a game show presenter ... and you need shades just to look at my periodontist.

Cunning plan, Ricky. The whole point of the NH was to be healthy, not posh. But then healthy becomes posh and trendy -- like all my favourite rockers from the 70s wearing their NH glasses on stage and not the nice ones their mums picked out.

Again. Keep up the good work, Gervais. Crooked teeth aren't a sin as long as your gums and teeth are sound. I hope more people follow your example.

No Sex Please, We're Dubainis

Among all the nutters screaming about "We need more money on the high street, not the City" (that's British for Main Street, not Wall Street), a quick funny:

In more proof that the British have officially become the world's party animals, Vince Acors of Bromley and Michelle Palmer from Rutland were convicted in Dubai of making the beast with two backs on the sand there. Not the greatest thing to be caught doing in a Muslim country.

Actually, I don't believe they have Sharia law there, since they had met at a champagne brunch ... I guess champagne is a gateway to "sex on the beach."

Gentlemen Prefer French & Saunders

The world's best double act have started their swansong performances on the West End and I'd give my eye teeth.

I swear, if they bring the show here, I will see it -- and not be a daft idiot like I was when Ricky Gervais came for two nights of standup.

You may know Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders from some of their solo efforts. Saunders starred in Absolutely Fabulous and French was the Vicar of Dibley. If you still don't know what I'm talking about, you're dead to me.

French is married to Lenny Henry (of Chef! fame) and has recently come out with a memoir called Hello Fatty in which she talks about her father's suicide.

Anyway, they are hysterical and you should rent the DVDs of their series.

Borat Must be Brought Down

The footie excitement over the weekend happened in the qualifiers for the World Cup. England won big, 5-1, against Kazakhstan and will now move on to play Belarus on Wednesday.

It's a tad worrying, with Ashley Cole and John Terry (the captain) both injured. But stiff upper lip.

It would have been a bitter pill to be defeated but the land of Borat, but a big win like this makes an FA victory much more imaginable. Watch the goals below.

Noel Gallagher is Hysterical

One of the things I've enjoyed about getting the podcasts of Radio 1 and Radio 2 shows like Jonathan Ross, Russell Brand, and Chris Moyeles has been listening for Noel Gallagher to pop up.

Noel, not Liam.

The guy's everywhere. Especially lately. Oasis have been out supporting the release of their new album, Dig Out Your Soul with its hit The Shock of the Lightening. It just came out a few days ago, so he might start laying low for a while. Then again, he's always been the "talkative one."

Actually, he seems like a right decent fellow. Excellent sense of humor and able to keep up with Old Russ's mental gymnastics even when he's claiming to be hungover.

So check out the new album. I like it -- sort of like what it would have sounded like if the Fab Four grew up in Seattle. Or if Kurt Cobain was from Liverpool -- now there's a thought.

Photo by Will Fresch.

L'Shana Tova, Ronson Family

Record producer Mark Ronson.

DJ and singer Samantha Ronson.

Designer Charlotte Ronson.

Happy New Year to all of you. G'mar chatima tova (may you be sealed in the book of life).

It turns out this powerhouse family were raised in London in the Conservative moment. I'm not sure what their level of observance is now (it's their own business, of course). And I'm not sure if they even hold British passports anymore ... I think all of them live here now. But I did want to add them to the list of amazing British Jewish talent -- detailed under many posts on Phonybrit. I strongly urge you to check out Samantha and Mark's music.

So again, on the off chance that they're checking into shul for the big holiday on Thursday, I wish them all a sweet year. Samantha, bring your friend Lindsay Lohan to break the fast!

Picture of Samantha Ronson by ninjanoodles.

Camp Camp

Heard an interview with Roger Bennett, the co-author of Camp Camp and Bar Mitzvah Disco. It sent me into a reverie of being an 11-year-old camper at Cedar Lake Camp in Pennsylvania, surrounded by teenaged limeys.

In this interview on the Sound of Young America, Bennett retells his experience of being a young Jewish Liverpudlian hooked on American culture and getting a chance to come to America for a summer. The rub? As soon as their plane landed, he and his compatriots were whisked off to the middle of nowhere to cater to a bunch of "tatilahs" who were probably rubbish at all that outdoors rubbish.

That all put me in mind of Andy (from Manchester?) and my other counselors at CLC. Andy did seem a tad miserable, as if he had been hoodwinked into a summer in an area that would have been indistinguishable from a wilderness in Europe. No New York buildings or California beaches. Just bug juice and the job of bringing Ronnie's bran cereal to breakfast (a little embarassing for all involved). I feel bad for him now.

I wonder if he played some role in my fascination with the UK?

How it Looks from the Other Side

This is a little stale but still interesting.

It must be strange to the Brits that they know most of our shows and stars and we hardly know any of theirs. Unless you're a nerd like me.

Here's an interesting view from the Torchwood blog from before the summer, as they hail the use of Doctor Who in a mainstream political cartoon as proof that British culture is finally making a dent.

Go You Spurs!

I'll never get the hang of this from afar, but in addition to the domestic leagues in Britain (Premier, Championship, etc.) and the country teams (England, Scotland, Wales), each team also plays teams from other countries.

In an amazing turn of events, Tottenham Hotspur have clinched a place in the group stages of the Uefa Cup even though they've been living at the bottom of the table in their own league.

As the headline on their site screamed, "Job Done"!

Little Britain USA

Well, US television has minded British comedy once again. The show Little Britain has become Little Britain USA. It premiered on Sunday on HBO. Of course, I saw it straight away, but it took me a while to figure out what to say about it.

It would so predictable for me to say that the original was better, but truth is though I'd heard of them -- I knew that they were the latest generation to carry on the fine tradition of Englishmen wearing dresses for a gag, for instance -- I hadn't seen that much of their stuff.

It's not exactly to my taste, but I will definitely keep watching.

Here are a few clips from the original version to give you a taste:

Maggie, I Think I Have Something to Say to You

So many of my heroes have written screeds against Baroness Thatcher, or Thatcherism in general -- Billy Bragg, Paul Weller, Declan MacManus ... And most of it's been well vitriolic. I'm no Torry fan, and her philosophy of unbridled markets have been proved ... well you read the papers ...

So why was I so upset to hear that Margaret Thatcher is suffering from Alzheimer's disease? I learned from an interview I heard just last week with her daughter, Carol.

Of course, I could go on about the coincidence that both she and her "boyfriend," Ronald Reagan, got their just outcome or some such rubbish, but I'm not in the mood to go there.

Is it the fact that without her, my punk heroes would have nothing to be so cross about? That makes no sense. Is simply that an important figure from that period is in trouble? I don't know.

All that "Tamp the Earth Down" talk seems so distant at the minute.

So for the time being, please just join me in wishing the Baroness and her family well.

Treacle the Hamster

Nothing heavy today ...

Just had to note the silly story out of Cumberland. Apparently, last week, a girl in London Road in Whitehaven put her hamster in one of ball-shaped contraptions while she cleaned out his cage. The bugger escaped and started rolling up the high street -- reportedly moving faster than rush-hour traffic. I was once told by a office on an joint US/Royal Air Force base that the problem with England is that it's a country with 50 million people -- each of whom own a car. It must be pretty depressing to be sitting their in traffic and to have a four-inch hamster moving faster than you.

A good samaritan picked him up and owner and rodent were reunited just a few days later. He had been labled "Lucky" for not being run down, but he real name is "Treacle." So British. Why don't American kids call their hamsters Treacle?

Please note: picture is of a generic hamster and for illustration purposes only; couldn't find a public domain image.

Watching the World Wake Up from History

The whole monarchy thing does very little for me, but it is interesting to note that the Anglican monopoly on the British crown may be soon coming to an end.

Gordon Brown has initiated legislation that would overturn the 300-year-old law barring Catholics -- and Jews and Muslims and Buddists, etc. -- from the crown. It's been determined that The Act of Settlement is discriminatory.

Of course, the system also sort of discriminates against anyone not part of the House of Windsor, but that's different.

Let Him Be

Macca has arrived in Israel and people are going nutter about it.

Believe me, I'm not going to start a political discussion here, but it did get me to thinking about how much more keen they are in GB to boycott the Zionist entity. For instance, British academics are still shunning their Israeli counterparts, and probably will do for the foreseeable future.

I'm sure it comes from a good place -- the Brits have a great sense of justice ... it's one of the things I like about them. Where would all those NGOs be without adventurous and committed Brits?

Again, this isn't the place to work out either the wisdom or the efficacy of such boycotts. But this is different to the situation in South Africa in the 80s. And I do I need to mention the Balfour Declaration? The British Mandate? No one's hands are clean here. Except for peace loving Paul.

All Sir Paul wants to do is rock. He's not a political figure. Plus, now that he's with Nancy Shevell, shouldn't he be able to have a look at the Holy Land. After all, he (and those three chaps he used to hang out with) were banned from the place, and he's never gotten there since.

FOOTIE NEWS: Just a quick mention that Chelsea got knocked out of first place due to a tie game with Man U and because of Arsenal made short work of Bolton. Tottenham is still at the bottom of the table.

Do You Feel Like He Does?

So I'm watching a Peter Frampton concert on Rave HD, and he's doing his stuff with the voicebox (which I love) ...

If you don't know what I'm talking about, you probably weren't alive in 1977, when his patented effect, where he "talks" through his guitar, was everywhere you went because as the cliche goes, everyone owned a copy of Frampton Comes Alive! [Exclamation mark not mine.]

Anyway, in a surreal moment, through the talkbox, Frampton starts talking about *baseball*, and how he loves the Reds because he lives in ... wait for it ... Cincinnati! [That time the exclamation mark was mine.]

What?

I have absolutely nothing about Cincinnati or the Reds or any of it, but Peter Frampton lives in Cincinnati? I know a certain percentage of Brits come here, but I thought they were all in Santa Monica. Well, a few end up in Florida and even Oklahoma, like our new friend, Brit' Gal.

Of course, to me, it seems like, "Why would anyone want to move in that direction?" I mean, they are card-carrying EU citizens. What's more, it's bloody impossible to go the other direction. I have one friend who pulled it off, but the first question on most application forms there is "Do you have a legal right to work in the United Kingdom?"

I suppose as long as he lives near an airport, a famous musician can have a house anywhere -- Frampton's probably on the road as much as he is home.

But Cincinnati just seems so random.

The Chunnel of Love

How British not to mention it ... Actually not just the British, but everybody. Nobody seems to be even suggesting what I am thinking.

I waited a whole week to put it into words, because I didn't want to seem paranoid. But a fire in the Chunnel on September 11th? And all these days later, they still don't know what caused it?

Please, please someone make an announcement about some boring faulty wires or some git smoking where he shouldn't have done. Something.

They Said I Was Mad at the Academy

In spite of my last post, all about the world's best science-class satire, GB must have one of the best science-education systems on earth.

Maybe it's the tradition of the Royal Academy of Science, but think of it: Gravity, DNA -- and now the beginning of time -- all cracked by Brits.

With the opening of the Large Hadron Collider, physicists will finally be able to test the theories of Peter Higgs of the University of Edinburgh. Higgs reckons he knows what happened in the first billionth of a second at the start of the universe. If they prove these theories right, Higgs will go from being a very famous scientist to being up there with Stephen Hawking (another you-know-what, if my point isn't proven by now.)

Good on 'ya Dr. Higgs. And I'm glad you didn't open up that black hole and swallow the earth like some scientists thought would happen.

A New Discovery -- Look Around You

This might not be new to many of you, but it was a startling discovery for me.

Robert Popper and Peter Serafinowicz and a merry band of idiots started a show on the BBC called Look Around You in 2002. The most memorable episodes send up educational films of the 70s and early 80s. And it's spot on -- is you grew up in those decades, you'll definitely recongnize the style, even if you were trapped in New Jersey like I was. Take a look at just the first 30 seconds of the episode below. It's perfect.

I embedded the one on Maths just because I've always thought that "maths" was a more accurate way of abreviating "mathematics" ... just another way that British English is superior to American English. But they are all brilliant.

It's been on BBC America and it's also available on DVD.

Can you imagine such lunacy on American telly? Me neither. I've said it before, but even though the BBC's business plan seems strange -- even Socialist -- Socialism obviously has its charms because it produced some pretty amazing entertainment.

Katie Price is Really, Really Big in Britian

The title of this post is the same as the title of a long article in yesterday's New York Times Magazine. It detailed the glamorous life of Katie Price aka Jordan (during her career as Page 3 girl).

This whole idea of what it means to be famous in England is getting more and more interesting to me. This is just the latest in a slew of articles about how (fill in the blank -- Steve Coogan/Russel Brand/Katie Price) is going to be big here one day.

Just as most Brits can speak American, (or at least know that flashlight = torch) they also seem to know nearly all of our celebs ... while we hardly know any of theirs -- unless you're like me, and I'm trying really, really hard.

Of course, they probably don't know the names of local news readers or perhaps American Football and Baseball player below the rank of Bret Favre or Daryl Jeter -- but neither do a lot of Americans. I'd be hard pressed to name one English cricket star.

How many times have you heard something like, "Billie Piper was the Brittney Spears of England" (filling in the former and later names to make a simple identification)? I mean, in the case of Katie Price, she's the "Pamela Anderson" of Britain, but because they used to get Baywatch, so is Pamela Anderson!

It seems as though Brits have their famous people AND THEN have to learn about all of ours. Maybe that's why I find all this stuff intriguing ... it's a view into an alternate universe where they speak the same language (sort of), but Rowan and Martin have been replaced by the Two Ronnies.

Seems I Picked Quite a Year to Get Involved with English Football

Checked today's scores.

Chelsea beat Manchester City 3-1! And it was Liverpool over Manchester United 2-1 ! The result is the top of the standings have been virtually unchanged since the beginning of the season. Amazing.

West Brom beat West Ham ... sorry Russell Brand. Brand, it turns out, is a rabid West Ham supporter. He even writes a column for the Guardian about football.


What an interesting country. Stephen Fry writes about technology in his spare time and the bad-boy of British comedy writes about sport? That would be like picking up the paper and Robin Williams has an article in there about fine dining and Dane Cook has an Op-Ed about the management of the New England Patriots of something.

Celebrity seems to means something different there. It's more personal, like you can have a chat with even their most-famous countrymen. I'll have to explore this more in future.

I Refuse to Make the Title of this Post "Shaken Not Stirred" -- Ooops

I can take or leave the James Bond stuff, but I do recognize that it is one of the key "points of entry" for many an Anglophile.

The franchise does have its charms. It sort of brings back the British supremacy from an earlier age. And I love anything with Dame Judy in it.

Daniel Craig (he's the same bloke from the remake of Casino Royale, which I missed) seems a perfect choice for this generation of 007. If I'm not mistaken, he's the first one born post-1960? He's not overly handsome, but he's just cool in a old-school Prisoner/Avenger kind of way.

And the title music is bloody fantastic. The Guardian gave us an early peak at the Coke advert featuring the song. That Jack White was a perfect fit for a tradition that includes everyone from Paul McCartney to Carly Simon -- just like Daniel Craig was the perfect fit. And White takes the assignment seriously, producing a classic Bond-y sound, but one you can tell was produced in this decade.

Hmm, maybe I like this Bond rubbish more than I reckoned?

Imagine

Remembering all victims of terrorism today, so no daft post.

It's corny, but, "imagine all the people sharing all the world."

Palin for President -- Michael Palin

Well, someone was enterprising enough to search through years-worth of clips to transform a funny coincidence into a clever little dig on the latest atrocity in politics. It's a fun way of dealing with a plot-twist so absurd even the Pythoners couldn't have thought of it, even in their prime.

Well done. But they did miss one important point: As one of the world's most famous travelers, our Palin has had a passport a little longer that last year, when Sarah first got hers!

Enjoy.

I'm So Proud

So the other day, my 9-year-old daughter announced that she could now speak with English accent.

What did she say to demonstrate?

"Tahn right, then tahn left."

Read this to find out why that was so cute.

The Who at Kilburn

One thing that's nice about being in the generation following the baby boom -- and one of the only nice things about it -- is that their cooler stuff is suddenly "classic" and classy.

For instance, I was flipping channels a couple nights ago and PBS was featurn a Who concert as part of their fundraising campaign. And not just any concert ...

Picture this: It's December 1977. The Who haven't played together in ages, but this documentary is being done about them, The Kids are Alright. They realize that they controlled filming around them so well that there really aren't any decent performances of their famous songs, like Baba O'Reilly and Won't Get Fooled Again recorded for posterity. So they decided to do one show in Kilburn, London. Of course, that ended up being one of Keith Moon's final performances.

When I found the concert, I wondered why it all looked so familiar. After all, the only other concert film I'd seen of the Who was the Isle of Wight concert and that's mostly Tommy and they're wearing really weird stuff. Entwhistle is dressed as a skeleton, if I remember.

Then I realized that it was so familiar because I saw the documentary all those years ago. But it's so much better just seeing the uncut concert footage. Daltry in that midriff tight blue striped T-shirt is pretty dated, but it brings back so many memories.

If you live in the U.S., look for this show on your PBS station. If not, they have a DVD available.